Existential Crisis: A Call From Your Soul
An existential crisis is a time when an individual questions their existence and the purpose of their life. This can be a very frightening experience, as one can feel completely alone and lost in a seemingly random and meaningless universe. However, it can also be a time of great self-discovery and growth.
An existential crisis is, in a psycho-spiritual sense, a call from our soul. It is the moment when our deepest self calls for us, or when we acquire a sense of the collective unconscious that goes beyond our conscious mind. Carl Jung believed that the first half of our lives are devoted to developing our ego, while the second half is spent integrating the unconscious and becoming who we are. And the transition from the former to the latter is what often triggers an existential crisis.
What Constitutes an Existential Crisis
An existential crisis can be defined as a moment of intense self-reflection in which a person questions their own existence and the meaning of life. While there is no single, universally agreed-upon definition, an existential crisis typically involves these components:
1. The awareness that death is inevitable and could happen at any time.
2. The feeling that one's life has been wasted or is meaningless.
3. A sense of loneliness and isolation in the face of an uncaring universe.
4. The feeling that one's existence is an accident or a coincidence.
5. A lack of purpose or meaning in life.
6. A belief that one has chosen the wrong path and everything one has done up until now is in vain.
What causes an existential crisis?
There is no single answer to this question as everyone's experiences and reasons for having an existential crisis will be different. Many things can cause an existential crisis, such as the loss of a loved one, major life changes, or feeling like you are stuck in a dead-end job. For some people, simply growing older and realizing that they still have not achieved all of their goals can also be a trigger.
Someone may be more prone to having an existential crisis at the mid-point of their lives if they have been parentified as a child in their families of origin. Parentification means there has been a role-reversal in the family where the child has to step up as their parents’ and siblings’ caretaker too early too soon, and become deprived of the childhood they rightfully deserve. '
Many highly empathic and emotionally sensitive people are prone to being parentified in their families. This is especially the case if they have immature, vulnerable or abusive parents, or if they have siblings who bully them. Unfortunately, when children are thrust into parental roles, they are often denied the opportunity to explore their interests and develop their own sense of identity. They are given no space, practical or emotional, to find their joy and what their life is about. After a long time, they may have a spiritual crisis where they realise they have lived all their lives according to their parents’ needs and expectations, rather than their true passion.
In his work. Jungian analyst James Hollis discusses the importance of the second half of life. He believes that the second half is when we come to grips with our true purpose in life and what it means to be truly alive. According to Hollis, many people spend their first half of life trying to achieve success or material possessions. But once they reach a certain age, they realize that these things don't bring happiness or a sense of fulfilment. This is when they start looking for meaning in their lives and begin their journey towards wisdom. The second half of life can be an exciting time, as we venture into new territory and learn more about ourselves than we ever thought possible. It's a time for growth and self-discovery, as well as for making a difference in the world.
In an existential crisis, part of us is finally tired of living for other people and wants to follow where our heart leads us. Ironically, it is a matter of discarding things we have accumulated, shedding the persona, peeling away the facades we have put on, and returning to our truth.
How do you know if you have an existential crisis?
Dread is a feeling of anxiety and despair that often accompanies an existential crisis. It can be paralyzing and make it difficult to think or act. Some describe it as a sense of impending doom, while others feel like they are in a dark hole with no way out. The fear of death or the unknown can be a major factor in dread, as can feelings of isolation and hopelessness. For some, dread is so overwhelming that they become unable to function normally and they may contemplate throwing everything away and starting over.
A person may be experiencing an existential crisis if they feel like they are losing touch with what once made them happy, or if they feel like they don't know who they are anymore. Other symptoms include feeling lost or purposeless in life, struggling to connect with others, and having a general sense of anxiety or depression.
When you feel like you’re hitting a dead-end and life that doesn’t seem to have any meaning, it might be an existential crisis.
How can you cope with an existential crisis?
Some important issues to address when going through an existential crisis are: Meaning, authenticity, self-knowledge, connection to others, and transcendence. Meaning is the belief that your life matters and that you have an important role to play in the world. Authenticity is the sense of being true to yourself and living in alignment with your values. Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand your own thoughts and feelings. Connectedness with others is the sense of belonging to a community and having meaningful relationships. Transcendence is the belief that there is something greater than yourself with which you can connect.
Here are some specific things you can do:
Identifying Your Values
You may have heard of the saying that some people have spent their whole lives trying to climb a ladder, only to find that it was the wrong ladder. Feeling that we are deceiving ourselves on some level and not acting congruently contributes to feeling uneasy in life. This subtle feeling of unease is often stored in our bodies, causing stress and sometimes illnesses. When accumulated to a point, an existential crisis can be triggered.
As much as possible, therefore, find out what your values are and try to align your actions with them.
Think about what is important to you. What are the things that bring you joy? What is most important to you? Once you have a list of the things that are important to you, try to think about why they are important. What values do they represent?
Another way is to look at your life experiences. Think about the moments that were most meaningful to you. What did you do in those moments and what values did you live by?
If you feel stuck you can speak to someone, and work specifically on this. If you are struggling to find words to express your values, you may even download a list of values from the internet and choose from them.
Finding Your Flow
Flow is the optimal state of consciousness where you feel your best and perform your best. It's that feeling of being in the zone, completely absorbed in what you're doing. You're not thinking about anything else, just focused on the task at hand.
For some people, finding a flow state is easy. They can get lost in their work, or in a hobby they love, and time flies by without them noticing. For others, finding a flow state is more difficult. They may have to try different things before they find something that brings them into a flow state consistently.
What activities make you lose track of time? What do you enjoy doing so much that you don't even notice how hard it is?
Once you've identified your passions, you may look into what skills are required for those activities. For example, if you love painting, but have no experience with it, then you'll need to learn some basic skills before you can start painting.
Even if there is no immediate financial reward, trying to include what makes your heart sings in your life now has value in itself.
Learning to Play and to Explore
What does it mean to learn how to play? For many, it is the beginning of a lifelong journey that introduces them to new friendships, new opportunities, and a deeper sense of purpose. Learning to play is not simply about mastering a skill or becoming good at something. It is about opening up your heart and mind to the possibilities that life has to offer.
When you learn to play, you are free to explore new horizons and discover your true potential. You become less afraid of making mistakes and more willing to take risks. You also learn how to have fun and enjoy life's simple pleasures.
Many of us have been trained by our parents, schools and society to not do anything that does not generate measurable values. But playing should be apparently ‘purposeless’. Sure, it may somehow serve a purpose in the end, but we must not do it for the sake of being ‘productive,’ recognised, making money, fitting in, or serving our ego.
When you play and explore new things, a part of you may say you are being indulgent and even wasteful. That part of you feels incredibly guilty when not working. But the healthiest part of you, the wisest part of you, will tell you that in some years’ time, you will see that these activities are the paths to true wealth. Starting to play again is a wonderful way of wiggling out of an existential crisis.
Redefining Success
In today's society, it's easy to get caught up in what other people deem as success. We are constantly bombarded with images and messages of what we "should" be doing with our lives - get a good job, buy a big house, climbing the corporate ladder. But when you are hit with an existential crisis, it may be time to redefine success for yourself.
Many of us had the formula of success upside down, outside in. When we aim for success, we tend to think about external things, but we forget to ask how we would like to feel and who we want to be at the end of it all.
This is natural, for as discussed, the first halves of our lives are all about surviving and fitting in. But when an existential crisis hit, we need to evaluate if what has been working is going to continue to work.
If you close your eyes and imagine what an ideal day would be like for you in the future, what would it be like? What would you like to be doing, from dusk to dawn? Who would you want to be with?
Our existential crisis is telling us that when we invest in seemingly obvious conventional ‘success paths’ that are not true to our souls, with perseverance and the fear of losing the sunk cost, we can get very far climbing the wrong ladder. But if they do not ultimately align with our deeper values and interests, the feeling of restlessness will follow us wherever we go.
What if you make joy and fulfilment your metric of success?. Most people measure their success in terms of money, power, or prestige. But what if you decided to measure it in terms of how much joy and fulfilment you experience daily?
Finding Your Ikigai
Contemplating the concept of Ikigai might be another good way to find direction in an existential crisis.
Ikigai is a Japanese concept that can be translated as “reason for being” or “purpose in life.” Finding your ikigai doesn’t necessarily just mean do what makes you happy. It can also involve using your talents and skills to contribute to society. In fact, ikigai is more about living a meaningful life than simply pursuing happiness.
Finding ikigai is a process of discovery. It’s something that you find, rather than something that you search for. You can, however, use some tips to help you on your journey.
The first step is to think about what brings you joy. What are the things that make you feel alive? What do you love to do? Once you know what these things are, start looking for ways to incorporate them into your life as much as possible.
The second step is to think about what you’re good at. What are your talents and strengths? Think about how you can use these talents and strengths to contribute to the world.
The third step is to think about what the world needs. What are the problems that need solving? How can you use your talents and strengths to help solve these problems? What would people pay you for?
When you can find one, or a few sweet spots where your interest, love, skills and what the world needs, you would have found your ikigai.
Learn to Let go of the Absolute Need for Certainty
If we use our existential crisis wisely and listen to what it has to tell us, we will experience a new level of well-being, creativity, and ultimately material reward. But the path to these things is not always obvious from the start. Therefore, when we find ourselves in an existential crisis, we should constantly remind ourselves that we "do not really know." What seems pointless now may be the source of great wealth in the future. Steve Jobs said in his famous speech that you can not connect the dots forward, only backwards. He meant that you can not look ahead and try to predict what will happen and devalue the futility of what you are doing because you can not see into the future. He took typography classes without knowing that one day it would be fundamental to Apple's success. No matter how much your ego fights it now, you have to be open to the possibility that your future self will deeply thank you for "wandering," because that lays the fertile ground for your creative wealth.
If you can loosen your need to know and be right, you may be more able to invest in activities that bring long-term benefits, rather than frantically jumping from one thing to the next that offers only short-term "solutions." If you can relax to explore a new future, your existential crisis might be resolved and you will be rewarded with a new and broader horizon.
To Sum Up
To sum up, some of the most common components of existential crises include feeling like one is living a life that is not authentic or meaningful, grappling with the knowledge of death and its inevitability, experiencing a sense of isolation or meaninglessness in life, and struggling with issues of faith or spirituality.
To transform through an existential crisis and not collapse in it, we must learn to listen to ourselves and then invest in activities that align with our deeper desires, rather than chasing immediate results as though we are on hamster wheels.
Transformation is a process of self-realization in which people come to understand their unique place in the world. In this process, we become aware of our thoughts, feelings, and desires, as well as the unconscious aspects of our psyche. In the end, we may find a new sense of identity and purpose, and find ways to express ourselves creatively.